:: WE CAN NEVER MAKE PEOPLE DO ANYTHING
This little pearl comes from Nonviolent Communication by Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D. a book that is on my re-read list. So many pearls in this book, because it is true, you can't make people do anything, you can only make them wish they did. As Rosenberg recounts with his own children "eventually they taught me that any time I was foolish enough to make them wish they had complied by punishing them, they had ways of making me wish that I hadn't!" P.22
I definitely find this with Charlie too. Those times when I have lost my cool and yelled at him or given him a whack, he has gotten quite mad, it makes him worse! He gets more upset and enraged. It is not helpful at all. It temporarily makes me feel better for having released my own rage but I almost instantly regret it. I need to remember this in the moment next time. The temporary relief from my own feelings is not worth it, and it is the exact opposite of the behaviour I want to "model".
Today: though I did yell at Charlie (early in our day) the day on a whole felt more successful. The house is a bomb, and Mia will probably wake up every half an hour until I go to bed, but I'm happier. Charlie was pretty well behaved, though like I said above, when I yelled at Charlie he got upset and yelled back at me and tried to hit me.